Perfection is sneaky. Sometimes it disguises itself as ambition, structure, checklists, anxiety, good intentions, work ethic, and so much more. The world we live in is driven by perfection, but sadly, it isn’t attainable. Perfection becomes our unintentional goal. We try living under this huge burden that we were never meant to carry.
Several years ago I came to the realization that I had an unrealistic expectation of perfection on myself, and for everything in my life. When something wouldn’t meet this expectation then I would fall apart. I held myself to a standard that didn’t even let God in, because (obviously) I was doing it for Him. Not very realistic, right? My kids did everything in their power to remind me that there is no such thing as perfection in parenting, or life. God was using these little ones to help me to depend on Him. Through the unrealistic expectation of perfection, I kept looking at my inadequacy and claiming myself a failure. My life didn’t look like a Pinterest board, and my heart and emotional state looked even worse. I put so much pressure on myself to keep the perfect schedule, to be the perfect wife, to dress my kids perfectly, to keep the house perfectly clean, and to make sure my kids behaved perfectly. I thought that if I did all the right things, then my kids would turn out to be perfect. I didn’t overtly say these beliefs, but I operated out of them. It wasn’t until I truly looked at my heart and my motivation that I realized what I was actually doing. I was making myself crazy!
I find myself thinking about how many of us go through hard things and just want it to be perfect, taken care of, fixed, or over. It doesn’t matter how hard we try to hold it together: life just isn’t perfect. When my biggest fears became my realities and we went through seasons that were really hard, I found a faith in Jesus that only could have been born in the depths. Desperately hanging on to this faith got me through when I didn’t even want to get out of bed. Looking for the good, the sweet things, the places of joy is what refocused me, not perfection.
Our imperfections don’t make us “less than,” they actually make us depend more on Jesus. I want to grow in those moments that are trying to shape me. I don’t want to be like a toddler that is kicking and screaming as my Abba Father is walking me (through the yuck) to something so much better?
Anyone else want to join me in taking the burden of perfection off of our shoulders?
Matthew 11:28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” msg
1 comment:
So true! Striving for perfection never made me any better...only resting in Him! <3
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