Mother's Day is a day that brings a lot of mixed emotions for me. If it weren't for the work of 3 other women, I wouldn't be celebrating. In fact, I would probably be very depressed. I love celebrating with my kiddos and I love seeing them grow and change just like any other mother. However, as a foster/adoptive mom, there are 3 other women who had that role before me. Sometimes I like to use my imagination and pretend like I have had each one since the beginning so that I could shield them(and myself) from any hurt or pain, but Mother's Day reminds me of the gifts I have been given as well as the reality of the brokenness that comes with this life.
So, I thought I would share a small glimpse of what this looks like with my family and friends. Here it goes:
My almost 7 year old was being really silly and having a hard time calming himself down yesterday morning(Mother's Day). So, I called him in to my bathroom to chat with me as I got ready for church. I asked him what was going on and why he was having such a hard time obeying today. He said, "I miss mommy _____________"(leaving name out for privacy). In my mind I thought, "of course, it's Mother's Day." He came to us at 4.5 so he had the most time with his bio-mom out of all of our kids. I said to him that I bet he does and asked him what he would get her for Mother's Day if he could. He pointed to my makeup bag and said, "this". I asked if she liked wearing makeup, and he said that she would when they had their visits. I explained to him that I was thankful for her and that if she never would have had him in her tummy and been his mommy first, then I wouldn't get to be his mommy now. That was when he made my heart melt by saying, "that's what I'm going to give her for Mother's Day; I'm going to be thankful for her." I hugged him and told him that I love him so much, and he went on his way. He actually had an awesome day after that. So much going on in his sweet little head, and he just needed to be heard.
This made me remember one day when I was having a hard day with my oldest 2. I took them for a walk because we all needed some fresh air. I had read a devotion that morning about being the perfect mom for the kids you have, not being a perfect mom. During my walk, I stopped the stroller and got down in front of my then 2 and 3 year old. I looked at them and said, "I am the perfect mommy for you and you are the perfect kids for me." Obviously, I was speaking mostly to myself. So, yesterday reminded me of this little walk and the journey of mothering that I have been on. I don't have to be a perfect mom, I just need to be the perfect mom for my kids. While remembering that they are the perfect kids for me. The blessings and challenges are there to help me grow, not to make me crazy. I have to admit, sometimes I don't deal with this as well as I could, and I just need a good cry. Most days, I can say that I am truly thankful for the way that God has created my family and I love being a mommy to this crazy crew.
I hope everyone had a fabulous Mother's Day! It doesn't matter how your family came together...it is a blessing and it is perfect for you!
"This is the day that the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it!" Psalm 118:24
